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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25746082">Sanctuary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraUnicornMaizWheeler70/pseuds/LibraUnicornMaizWheeler70'>LibraUnicornMaizWheeler70</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Killing Eve (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Fanfic is fun to read, Fanfic is not fun to write, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, Killing Eve - Freeform, More like Killing Me, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, No other characters mentioned by name, No they really are, One (1) Shared Braincell, One star do not recommend, Softness, The Bridge™️, Why Did I Write This?, rolling my eyes at myself, who needs them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:14:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25746082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraUnicornMaizWheeler70/pseuds/LibraUnicornMaizWheeler70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Soft and gay. I will not be taking questions at this time. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set after the bridge™, coz I'm so original.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a couple of soft gays on the run. No brain cells were harmed in the making of this epic.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set after the bridge™, coz I'm so original.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You really are an asshole, Eve!", huffed Villanelle, throwing herself back on her pillow, lying on the tired old double bed in their shitty motel room. </p><p>Eve raised an eyebrow, but was too tired to make a comeback. The women had fled London with nothing but the clothes they were wearing on the bridge, Eve's massive handbag and whatever bits and pieces Villanelle had secreted about her person, "which you are welcome to search me for, Eve", she had said somewhere along the way, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Eve had just laughed and said maybe later. </p><p>It was now edging close to 2am, and here they were in the middle of fuck-knows-where, Wales, in a very low budget motel, worn out and on edge. Villanelle was obviously not as tired as Eve, and had hoped that once they found somewhere to stay for the night she and Eve would finally share a passionate night in each others' arms. Or some romantic shit. After trying to coax Eve into sharing the shower with her because "there might not be enough hot water for both of us", then flouncing around the room in what looked suspiciously like a hand towel, using the motel's hairdryer to dry their underwear (which they had both washed out in the shower), to finally giving up these tactics and just straight out asking Eve for sex, she was not happy about being turned down. Eve was exhausted right down to her very bones, and not even the tingling thrill of sharing a room, sharing a bed, hell, sharing a life now it seemed, with the woman she had only barely admitted to herself she was in love with (and had certainly not said out loud, yet) could entice her into anything more than a soft kiss on Villanelle's lips goodnight.</p><p>Villanelle was now staring at the ugly popcorn ceiling, pouting, with an occasional side-eye at Eve. Eve sighed and rolled onto her side, facing the beautiful young woman she had chosen over wisdom, common sense, intelligence and everything else that was the opposite of romance. She let her eyes wander across Villanelle's alluring figure. Villanelle was currently wearing a black tank top that had been hidden under that mad canary yellow… cape? and the tiniest pair of red knickers Eve had ever seen. Eve wasn't dressed much more modestly, with an old t shirt and briefs that were very sensible cotton, if still a little damp from the impromptu laundering, but full coverage thank you very much, unlike the scrap of fabric barely covering Villanelle's ass. Not that Eve was one to complain. The view was honestly delightful. </p><p>"Honey," and Villanelle's whole body convulsed in pleasure at the pet name as she eagerly turned to face Eve, "I am more than ready, and willing, to do… whatever it is… you… want…" she faltered, gazing into those gorgeous eyes and becoming disoriented for a moment. </p><p>This was not lost on Villanelle, who smirked, delighted at the effect she was having on her darling Eve. </p><p>"Ah, anyway, I'm exhausted, and really, did you want our first time to be - here?" And Eve gestured around the room, which was possibly the ugliest place she had ever stayed in, and that included the hovel she had called home for a few months after she came back from Rome.</p><p>Villanelle's face softened. "Eve." Christ, how did she make her name sound like a prayer and sinful all at once? "I do not want you to feel any pressure. I am just so happy we are together. And I do not care where we are, although this would not have been my first choice for our initial liaison." </p><p>Oh shit, that French accent. Eve was sure she was not going to survive this relationship. </p><p>"Or my hundredth choice", now wrinkling her nose adorably, "but you are right, you are very tired, and we should both sleep while we have the chance. We will be like crazy people for many weeks, on the run from them, and we will have to take our rest when we can." </p><p>She looked at Eve with a serious expression now on her face. "I will not risk your life, Eve. I must be alert, watching always for those who would bring a violent and bloody end our romantic getaway." </p><p>She smiled, losing her stern look, and Eve smiled softly back, the tingling feeling returning, heat rising in her belly. And elsewhere. She raised a hand and gently stroked Villanelle's face, tucking a strand of hair back from her eyes. </p><p>"I know, I know, and I'm so glad we both chose to be here, and I appreciate what you need to do to keep us safe. But please, don't ever think I don't want - this," and she wiggled her other hand vaguely between them, "because I do. I really, really do." </p><p>Villanelle's eyes, which had fluttered shut when Eve started to touch her, opened wide at this admission from Eve. </p><p>"You really, really do?" </p><p>"Mmm" hummed Eve, now caressing Villanelle's cheekbone with her thumb. "Of course I do. You're gorgeous and funny and romantic and, and… " </p><p>Villanelle was visibly preening with this praise. "What else?", she asked cheekily, winking at Eve, in a throwback to one of their first conversations.</p><p>"Shut up, you dick," laughed Eve, "You know how amazing you are, I don't know why I'm even telling you this. But yeah, I do want us to, you know…" </p><p>"Fuck?" supplied Villanelle helpfully. </p><p>A sigh. "Yeah, I guess, or maybe... make love? Is there a difference, do you think?" </p><p>Villanelle considered this seriously. "Yes. There is a difference, Eve," and oh dear lord, how is she supposed to resist her, the way she drags out her name like that, all low register, and with that accent. So unfair. </p><p>"I think we will not fuck," Villanelle now stated with authority. </p><p>"We will make love, you and I. It will be glorrrrrrious! I will make you cry my name many, many times," she assured Eve, who had turned bright red and was now squirming under the thoughtful gaze of the younger woman beside her. </p><p>"It is what you deserve, my Eve," she whispered, shuffling closer and wrapping an arm across Eve's torso. "But you are right, we will sleep now." </p><p>Villanelle leaned into Eve, capturing her lips in a slightly-less-than-chaste kiss, her tongue flicking out to caress Eve's lower lip before pulling back, then resting her forehead against Eve's for a moment. </p><p>"And I will dream of making love to you all night", she told Eve with finality. She snuggled down, still holding Eve close to her as she pulled the duvet over them both. </p><p>"Sweet dreams, my Eve," sighed Villanelle into Eve's glorious hair. </p><p>"Goodnight, love," whispered Eve. </p><p>For a moment she thought it was too soft for Villanelle to catch, but a hitch in her breath and a tightening of the arm around her assured her the words were indeed audible. Eve closed her eyes let herself feel the loving tenderness between them, to cherish the peace without thought of the months of running from certain death to come.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Villaneve 4 Eva. That is all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just more softness. No plot. Absolutely zero.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh. I'm sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eve rubbed her forehead and wondered if it were possible to have a stroke or some other brain injury purely from the effort of not rolling her eyes. She made a pledge to Google it later, if Villanelle ever finished with the laptop. For the past two hours Villanelle had kept up a steady stream of nonsense to Eve while supposedly researching places to escape from the Twelve, and Eve was trying very hard to maintain composure, torn between frustration, adoration and laughter at the younger woman.</p><p>“Eve, did you know that Mandarin is the second most common language spoken in Sydney, after English? Maybe I should have made more effort learning that one, hmm?” Villanelle threw over her shoulder as she continued scrolling through their choices for sanctuary.<br/>
Eve heroically supressed another eye roll and made a non-committal noise. Villanelle turned around to look at her. </p><p>“What? You don’t want to lie around on Bondi Beach and get a tan? You will look very sexy in a bikini, Eve,” Villanelle said in an authentic Aussie accent as she smirked, waggling her eyebrows at Eve suggestively.</p><p>Eve rolled onto her back, hiding a smile as she indulged in a very brief fantasy of herself, sitting on a beach in said bikini while a golden-skinned Villanelle, scantily clad in the tiniest swimsuit possible, rubbed her shoulders with sun cream. Wow. She blinked a few times, clearing the image from her mind’s eye, and turned back to Villanelle.</p><p>“I can’t say it doesn’t interest me. Put it on the ‘possible’ list, then put that thing away and get to bed. Please?” </p><p>It was well after 11pm and the women were onto their seventh nondescript motel in as many nights, wending their way around Great Britain in a confusing trail of north, west, east, north, west and north again. They were currently ensconced in a small tourist town in the wilds of Scotland. It was the off season (“No kidding Eve, it is freezing, why would anyone come here in winter?” “Oh, I don’t know Villanelle, maybe to hide from an international crime syndicate who want us dead while we plan our next move? Also, are you or are you not from Russia, yet you’re complaining about the cold here?” “Wow Eve, you are so sexy when you are being sarcastic.” *cue eye roll from Eve*). The pair were apparently the only guests staying in the Highland Holidays Guesthouse tonight. If small, the room was at least clean and comfortable, unlike some of their prior residences, and the premises boasted a tiny restaurant that served meals from 7am. Eve just wanted a peaceful night in a warm bed, with the anticipation of a good, hot breakfast before hitting the road again at the forefront of her mind. God, she would kill for a decent cup of coffee in the morning. At this stage, she was not even joking about that. She would literally commit murder for a good brew.</p><p>Villanelle typed for another minute or so then flipped the laptop closed, snapping Eve’s attention back to her.</p><p>“I am having a shower now Eve. Join me?” </p><p>With a dimpled smile thrown in Eve’s direction, Villanelle squatted down and rummaged through her bag for her “very not-sexy at all” pyjamas, courtesy of one of the low budget shops Eve had insisted they frequent for clothing and other essential supplies. She emerged, triumphant, waving the flannel set in the air. They had caused her to look aghast at Eve when presented with them two night ago, but she had since grudgingly conceded they were very soft and warm. </p><p>Eve smiled again at Villanelle, shaking her head and not even having to supress an eye roll. It was honestly adorable, the way Villanelle kept inviting intimacy, yet never pushing Eve, taking the constant rejections in her stride with humour and grace. </p><p>“Sensible people had their showers a long time ago,” Eve remarked, gesturing at her own flannel pyjama-clad body nestled in the bed.</p><p>“One day you will say yes, and I will die of shock. I will be there on the floor, dead, and you will look at my dead body and be very sorry it took you so long to accept my love, Eve,” pouted Villanelle playfully, wandering into the bathroom. </p><p>As usual, she left the door open a crack and Eve could see tantalising glimpses of curves and golden hair before a rush of steam clouded her view. Not that she was actually looking, mind you, it’s just … there wasn’t much else to look at, she justified lamely to herself. She listened to Villanelle humming to herself under the sound of water running and lay back on the bed with a wistful smile playing on her lips. Drifting into dangerous territory now, she allowed herself to indulge again in a fantasy of herself and Villanelle, now imagining they were in a safe location, living as a couple, no threat of discovery and death hanging over their heads, and this was an ordinary night. Just a normal evening of preparation before going to bed. Together. </p><p>Eve sat up suddenly. Really, what was stopping her? Why was she even trying to resist the pull of her heart? She was no longer married, they were on the run, she was in love with Villanelle and she knew the younger woman loved her too, in whatever capacity she could. They had fallen into a surprisingly easy routine these last few days, each mindful of the other’s quirks and moods. They always booked a room with one bed, ostensibly for financial reasons (as Eve said defensively to herself every time) and despite Villanelle’s unceasing teasing about “sleeping together”, Eve felt comfortable now with snuggling up to her at night, enjoying the intimacy without any pressure for more. Eve couldn’t remember sleeping so well as she had these last few nights, despite the threat always lurking in their background, and Villanelle had casually mentioned just that very morning that it was “quite nice” to sleep the night through in Eve’s arms. </p><p>Now, Eve decided the time had come. She stood up somewhat shakily, and before she could allow any rational thoughts to intrude, she murmured “fuck it”, flung her pyjamas off, dragged her hair from its messy bedtime ponytail and strode towards the bathroom. She threw the door wide and cleared her throat.</p><p>“There had better be enough hot water left,” and she pulled the shower curtain open, stepped into the shower and grabbed the shampoo bottle from Villanelle’s hand.</p><p>Villanelle’s eyes were as wide as saucers as she gaped at the vision before her – a naked Eve, hair down and dripping wet. From the shower, just to be clear. Her gaze travelled slowly down, down, down then she dragged her eyes back up again, meeting Eve’s. Eve had a defiant look on her face as she looked back at Villanelle.</p><p>“Will you wash my hair please? I forgot to, when I had my shower before.”</p><p>“Ahhhh …” Villanelle spluttered. Interesting. Had she finally rendered the ever-loquacious woman speechless? Hah!</p><p>Eve held the shampoo bottle out. She smiled serenely at Villanelle, who stood motionless, mouth agape, eyes staring. Slowly, she raised a hand and grasped the shampoo. Eve didn’t let go for a second, her smile becoming less serene and more playful. She finally let go of the bottle, threw a wink at Villanelle and turned, letting the hot water run over her head before stepping back slightly to allow Villanelle to pour some shampoo onto her hair. Seconds passed and there seemed to be no movement yet from Villanelle. </p><p>Eve waggled her head a little, then glanced over her shoulder. Villanelle was standing as though frozen on the spot, the shampoo bottle still clasped in one hand, lid on. Her expression was one Eve had never seen on the young woman’s face before – lips parted slightly, a blush on her cheeks and eyes shimmering with – were those tears? Eve turned around to face her fully. She raised her hands to Villanelle’s face, cupping it gently, stroking her cheekbones with her thumbs as she swiped the tears now running freely down her face. </p><p>“Hey. Are you ok?”</p><p>Villanelle nodded, swallowing heavily. </p><p>“Eve…” Her voice was low and full of emotion, and Eve felt her body react to the way her name was whispered through those luscious lips, a deep warmth blooming low in her belly and a fluttering of her heart.</p><p>Villanelle seemed to finally notice the shampoo bottle in her hand. She set it gently on the shelf behind Eve, and as she did so her arm brushed against Eve’s shoulder. A scar torn across it marred the otherwise flawless caramel skin, and Villanelle flinched, her arm hovering. </p><p>“Look at me. Villanelle! Look at me, please.” </p><p>Eve removed one hand from Villanelle’s face and took hold of the arm lingering in the air above Eve’s scar. She ran her hand down Villanelle’s arm, took hold of her hand and twisted their fingers together. She lifted their joined hands to her scar. Villanelle’s eyes darted from Eve’s gaze to their hands, a look of barely controlled panic on her face as Eve brought their hands to the scar she caused. Eve rested their linked hands lightly on her shoulder, then softly, slowly, untangled her fingers and withdrew her hand, leaving Villanelle’s resting just above the scar. </p><p>“It’s ok, really. Honey, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt. Please, it’s OK,” Eve assured her, returning her hand to Villanelle’s face, her thumbs resuming their soft stroking. </p><p>Villanelle’s gaze was now fixed on her hand on Eve’s shoulder. She slowly trailed her fingers across Eve’s collarbone before landing a feather-light touch on the healed bullet wound. She flinched slightly, taking a breath in, then resumed her gentle exploration. Eve watched the flickering changes in Villanelle’s expression with empathy, marvelling at the change in the other woman over the last year. Her heart thudded in her chest and a swell of love rushed through her. </p><p>Villanelle finally looked up at Eve, meeting her eyes again. As one, the women stepped together, wrapping their arms tightly about the other, the shower streaming over both of them. For a time neither spoke, then Eve took a breath and broke the silence.</p><p>“So this didn’t go the way I’d planned it in my head,” she grimaced. “I was kinda going for a steamy shower scene sort of scenario, actually.”</p><p>Villanelle let out a small snort. “You mean you didn’t plan to traumatise me?”</p><p>“Wow, you shot me and you’re the one with trauma? You are such a dick,” Eve laughed, pushing back to look at Villanelle and show her she was joking. Villanelle laughed too, a little shakily, with another quick look at Eve’s scar. </p><p>“I have recovered now Eve, thank you, and I am ready to wash your very lovely hair, so please, let us resume your sexy scenario and …” Villanelle and Eve both screeched as the water suddenly turned freezing cold.</p><p>“Get out, get out!” Eve shouted, turning off the taps and pushing Villanelle in her haste to get to a towel and get warm and dry again. </p><p>Villanelle laughed and grabbed the two extra-large, extra fluffy towels she had insisted they splurge on while shopping for essentials. “I am not letting a disgusting motel towel touch my body ever again,” she had stated firmly a few days ago, after the previous night’s motel room had furnished two small rectangles of what might, fifteen years ago, have been towels, but on closer inspection had turned out to be simply a loose collection of threads held together by what appeared to be unidentifiable bodily fluids. One of them had a very large discoloured mark staining it. “Blood, vomit – who even knows,” remarked Eve in disgust, dropping the cloth and instantly heading to the nearest store for personal linen supplies. No budget shopping this time - Villanelle insisted on not only the softest, most luxurious bath sheets available, but had also coaxed Eve into purchasing two sets of mattress covers, sheet sets, duvets and pillows, shuddering with horror at the memory of the seven – SEVEN! – semen stains (not counting her pillow) on the hotel bed Raymond had booked for her last year. Eve had to say, it was nice to be able to snuggle down to sleep secure in the knowledge that, while the beds were still questionable, comfort-wise, they were at least now protected from random peoples’ cooties and cum alike.</p><p>Draping one towel around her, Villanelle held out the other for Eve to step into. As she did so, Villanelle enclosed Eve in another hug, wrapping the towel around her now shivering body. Eve’s arms were trapped in the towel, so she simply leant into Villanelle as she was held tightly for a few seconds, enjoying the attention and care shown to her. Villanelle rubbed Eve gently a few times to help dry her, then stepped back and smiled, dimples showing again. Eve looked at her, then without preamble stepped into the space between them, arms still inside the towel, stood in her tiptoes and pressed her lips onto Villanelle’s. So soft, so soft, she thought, then suddenly Villanelle was everywhere – hands in Eve’s wet hair, pulling at their towels, drifting down her back. Her mouth opened under Eve’s kiss and Eve welcomed her with delight, licking and sucking on Villanelle’s tongue and lips greedily. Now that her hands were freed from the constraint of the towel, Eve reached for Villanelle’s waist with one hand, pulling her closer, the other coming up to Villanelle’s face to stroke her cheek before slipping back and twisting in her hair.</p><p>After a short time Villanelle broke their kiss. “Bed,” she blurted. </p><p>Stumbling out of the bathroom, arms still wrapped around Eve, Villanelle’s feet became tangled in their discarded towels and she fell backwards onto the (mercifully clean) carpeted floor. Eve landed on top of her, knocking the wind from both their lungs. Trying to catch her breath, Eve couldn’t help but laugh, remembering Villanelle’s earlier comment.</p><p>“So, are you dead yet?” she spluttered, tears streaming from her eyes as she drew another shaky breath in.</p><p>Villanelle, her arms still around Eve, rolled them over, pressing Eve into the carpet. Hovering above the older woman, she giggled. “I have decided I am dead and this is heaven. I have a naked, wet Eve in my arms and I am about to kiss her again, then throw her on the bed and do unspeakable things to her for many, many hours.”</p><p>Eve trembled, and Villanelle looked at her closely.</p><p>“Are you cold, my Eve?” she asked in a voice tinged with concern. Honestly, who even was this sweet, thoughtful woman? thought Eve, and she reached up to touch Villanelle’s face.</p><p>“I’m a bit cold, but that’s not why I’m shivering,” she replied, blushing slightly.</p><p>“Oh … ohhhh!” exclaimed Villanelle. </p><p>She leapt up from the floor, dragged Eve by the hand to the warm bed and shoved her into the nest of duvets and blankets piled up on the bed. She then whipped around, grabbed the towels from the floor and twisted her long, wet hair up in one, passing the other to Eve to do the same with her damp curls. She leapt into the bed next to Eve and burrowed down under the covers, smiling uncertainly at the older woman. </p><p>“Is this ok, Eve?” she asked, her voice husky with emotion. “Are you sure about this?”</p><p>Eve snuggled closer to Villanelle and firmly wrapped her arms around the curves of her gorgeous bedmate. She pressed her face into Villanelle’s shoulder and nuzzled her neck, pressing light kisses there.</p><p>“I’m sure, honey. You are so beautiful, and … I love you,” she whispered into Villanelle’s skin. </p><p>Villanelle beamed. “Oh Eve, finally you noticed. I have been telling you for a long time now how very beautiful I am. Of course,” as Eve huffed a laugh close to her ear, “you are also very, very beautiful. And I love you Eve, I really do,” she replied softly.</p><p>She kissed Eve’s nose and they looked at each other, the depth of emotion on both women’s faces evident despite the banter. Leaning in, Villanelle caught Eve’s lips with her own. Passion, love, friendship, laughter and a dash of fear. A heady combination, and, it seemed, an irresistible one, as the couple began to move together, learning each other’s bodies as though the rest of the world didn’t exist, as though the direction of their lives wasn’t being dictated to them by circumstances beyond their control, as if they were free. But for now, at least, they were free, at least within their own universe, and time and the world stood still as hands and lips and skin moved against each other, and love grew.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hate myself. I'm sure there will be more of this plotless bullshit streaming out of my fingertips shortly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Plotless meandering words.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we go again. A bit more bullshit, less talk, more reflections. It's all very gay.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite the constant threat to their existence, Eve was loving every minute of her life. A delicious meal and a pint of Guinness sat comfortably warm in her belly. Villanelle’s hand was holding hers firmly, their fingers entwined, as they took in the incredible sounds of the trad music night in a tiny corner pub in Dublin. The day had been filled with visiting as many tourist sites as they could, kissing under a rainbow in the green hills of the countryside and just enjoying each other’s company. Their flight to the next destination was booked for the next morning. It couldn’t be more perfect, Eve thought.</p>
<p>Villanelle leaned in close to Eve’s ear, her warm breath tickling her ear. “Want to go soon?” </p>
<p>Eve turned and looked at Villanelle. Her pupils were huge and black, eyebrows raised suggestively, lips full and quirked up in a questioning smirk. </p>
<p>“God yes!” and Eve suddenly couldn’t get out of the packed venue fast enough, dragging a laughing Villanelle along with her. Maybe perfection could be improved upon after all.</p>
<p>Eve never thought she would be capable of feeling so overwhelmingly loved and in love every time Villanelle looked at her like this, but here they were. Three years since they became aware of each other, a month on the run together, a week into this new dynamic between them and she felt like a lovesick teenager with her first crush. It was never like this with old whats-his-name, that’s for sure, not that Eve thought much about her failed marriage. Her body, mind and heart were completely consumed with the beautiful woman by her side, and she yielded willingly.</p>
<p>Hand in hand through dark, rain-slicked streets they ran, dodging groups of swaying lads waving pint glasses and singing incomprehensively, across the river and back to their nondescript hotel, Eve puffing and swearing to herself to start that exercise routine Villanelle had designed for her “to keep up with my amazing stamina, Eve” ASAP. The fact she had been saying it for the past week didn’t register with Eve at that moment. Denial was always one of her greatest strengths, after all.</p>
<p>They stumbled into their room, laughing and panting, and headed straight for the bathroom. Clothes went flying in every direction as Villanelle pushed Eve towards the shower. Eve made sure the temperature was optimal (really, really hot) before pulling Villanelle in after her, reaching for each other under the water’s flow. Since succumbing to their shared desires both women spent as much time together as possible, no inhibitions or pretended shyness getting in their way. Doors were never shut between them, clothes were only worn outside their room and no topic went untouched in their continual conversations. It was a constant source of comfort and security to both Eve and Villanelle that they could let go of any reticence and share themselves so completely. </p>
<p>The rain was lashing against the window the next morning when the twin shrieks of their alarms roused them. Grumbling, Eve rolled onto her back and sighed. Villanelle, her arms still around Eve, squeezed her tight, causing Eve to squeak loudly.</p>
<p>“You’re awful! Go away,” she demanded, pushing Villanelle’s arms off her and snuggling back under the covers. Villanelle laughed softly as she kissed the curly top of Eve’s head and swung off the bed towards the kitchenette.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you glad we packed last night? Now we can have a relaxing morning,” she called over the noise of the coffee machine. “Eve? Oh I don’t believe this,” she muttered fondly under her breath as she heard faint snores from the pile of warmth on the bed. She placed the steaming mugs on her bedside table and slipped back under the duvet, peppering Eve with kisses and running her hands all over the older woman’s naked body in an adorably annoying attempt to rouse her lover. Eve’s head suddenly popped out from the sheets.</p>
<p>“Do I smell coffee? Oh, you’re the best,” Eve said, pushing past Villanelle for her morning pick-me-up. She dropped a kiss on Villanelle’s forehead as she settled back against the bedhead. “Thanks sweetheart,” she said earnestly, then devoted her loving attention to her mug. Villanelle huffed.</p>
<p>“I never thought I would be ignored for a drink. Here I am, my beautiful body naked and available beside you, and you choose caffeine over me. This is humiliating,” she pouted, looking at Eve mournfully. </p>
<p>“….. hmm?” murmured Eve, seemingly engrossed in her coffee. Secretly she was laughing at the other woman’s fake grumpiness, and Villanelle knew it. Secretly Villanelle loved Eve teasing her, and Eve knew it. They enjoyed making one another laugh, both taking great lengths to be as ridiculous as possible. It caused Eve no end of joy to see Villanelle acting like a clown in public, dropping one of her many personas on unsuspecting tourists, shop owners and locals alike. </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>The day before, the couple had had a touristy visit to Galway. Villanelle had adopted a very posh English accent in a jewellery store, haughtily declaring loudly everything “very derivative in both style and setting” before stalking out in a strop, leaving Eve behind to witness the next act. Not a minute later Villanelle was back, her soft Scottish accent and innocent face baffling the girl behind the counter as she gently offered it was all so very lovely, and what did the nice lady think of this pendant please?, gesturing to herself in the mirror and drawing Eve into the play. Eve stifled a giggle at the poor shop assistant’s face and said the pendant was indeed quite pretty. After being told the price, Villanelle’s face dropped and she sadly said it was out of her price range, unfortunately, and she dolefully left the shop. </p>
<p>A moment later she was back, a vivacious and outrageous French woman cheerily calling to her (unseen and totally fictitious) companion as she swept in, “Un moment, mon amour! Je dois voir cette boutique de bijoux enchantés!” The shop assistant looked as though she was going to either run away, burst into tears or have kittens on the spot. Eve, really enjoying herself now, leaned against the counter and watched her love proclaim everything “magnifique!” and “charmant”, before buying a metric shit ton of jewellery, yelling “ciao, mon ami!” as she grasped the bewildered girl’s face and delivered a loud kiss on each cheek. She had then bustled Eve out of the store, her bag of purchases in one hand, Eve’s hand in the other, speaking in her usual husky Russian accent again. Eve had looked back to see the young woman staring at them, confusion written all over her. Eve waved at her and mouthed a very insincere “sorry”, then turned back and burst out laughing, hip checking a cackling Villanelle as they followed the cobbled streets back to their car.</p>
<p>Thus far there had been no hint of danger, no whisper of a threat from either MI6 or the Twelve, and although they never fully let their guard down, both women felt able to relax and enjoy their new relationship. They had made plans for the next, and hopefully last, stop, and although Villanelle was initially unimpressed with the three international and one domestic flight involved (“In coach? For over 30 hours? Eve! What about me has ever said ‘economy’ to you?”), Eve had held firm and Villanelle was resigned to her lanky legs cramping in the minimal space. She had sulked until Eve pointed out the closeness of the seats gave them ample opportunity to rack up frequent flier points in the Mile High Club. Villanelle was now positively cheery about the upcoming journey.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Caffeinated and content, Eve lay back against the pillows, running her fingers idly through Villanelle’s hair. It was a sensory pleasure she hadn’t known before sleeping with Villanelle. There were so many new experiences that came with loving another woman and many of them, like stroking those long golden tresses, were something Eve had never considered. From the softness of the lips under hers, the heady scent of feminine perfume or shampoo, the sharing of clothes and the innate understanding between them that came from being women, Eve was delighting in the novelty.</p>
<p>She was not unrealistic, and knew there would be moments of difficulty along the way. It wouldn’t be a real relationship without disagreement, but she was confident the level of trust and openness she and Villanelle shared would see them through anything. She also knew that the newness would wear off eventually, and had deliberated long and hard before committing to entering into the relationship. </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It had been so easy for her to initially fall into infatuation and obsession over Villanelle – a gorgeous young woman with an impressive array of skills and a personality that, despite her supposed label of psychopathy, was delightful, with a penchant for danger and an insatiable hunger for Eve’s attention. Who wouldn’t be captivated? Eve had been married for a long time and knew the honeymoon period didn’t last, but when Villanelle had offered to disappear from her life she knew with a sudden and singular clarity that she wanted Villanelle. Wanted her as a friend, as a lover, as a companion for the rest of her life. She knew then that she was in love.</p>
<p>“Why did you take so long to finally sleep with me then, Eve?” Villanelle had asked when they had talked about it last week, lying on a rug before a fire in a cabin in Yorkshire, a gentle mist hovering above the ground outside as the twilight settled on the hills around them.</p>
<p>Eve had sighed. “I guess I was just scared. It’s a big thing for me, just up and leaving my life like this. I can’t contact my mother, none of my friends know if I’m dead or alive and we probably have an axe over our heads for the rest of our lives. It’s a lot to process, and I didn’t want to jump into anything with that messing with my head. I didn’t want to use you as a distraction, if that makes sense?” She had turned in Villanelle’s arms, lying on her chest, one hand softly tracing Villanelle’s collarbone as she spoke.</p>
<p>“I am very distracting,” Villanelle had agreed, smiling at Eve, her fingers trailing down Eve’s spine, making her shiver with want.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know that, point taken,” Eve had laughed, and had then rolled over fully onto Villanelle and pressed her into the rug, capturing her lips with her own. She had pulled back and looked down at Villanelle, whose eyes were closed but had flown open at the sudden disappearance of Eve’s lips. Villanelle had quirked an eyebrow at Eve, who had continued, “And I wasn’t sure about how you felt about me. That I wasn’t just an infatuation or an obsession to you either.”</p>
<p>Villanelle had looked deep into Eve’s eyes, the most serious expression Eve had ever seen her adopt on her face. She spoke, her voice, low and filled with emotion.</p>
<p>“Eve. I told you I loved you a year ago. You told me that I didn’t know what that meant. And you were right,” she had rushed on when Eve tried to interrupt, “I thought that needing you or owning you were the same as loving you. It was that night on the bridge when I really understood what you were trying to tell me. I hadn’t loved you, not really, until that moment we were talking. Until you asked me to make it stop. Then I realised what love was. It was wanting you, but not trying to hold onto you as though you were my possession. It was letting you go. I had been feeling very unhappy about myself and what I had done to so many people. I was told I was a psychopath, and I believed it. I was told I was a monster, and I believed it. Then you told me I was more than that. I heard your love for me in your voice and I realised those people were wrong. I was wrong. I knew then that I could be a good person, or a bad person, or whatever I chose to be, but it did not mean I was unworthy of love. I forgave myself that night, Eve, and I wanted to show you how much I loved you. I wanted to give you the greatest gift I could. Freedom.”</p>
<p>Eve had stared at Villanelle, speechless. She had never heard her speak so passionately, so eloquently, of her feelings. Psychopath? This woman was not a psychopath. Damaged, used and treated as a weapon for unseen hands to wield, abused, traumatised and neglected of love, self-centred and fickle, all these things were true. But she was not a psychopath, had never been a psychopath, of that Eve had suddenly been sure. When she told Villanelle this the younger woman had looked at Eve intensely, her eyes dark and shining with unshed tears. She had clasped Eve’s hand fiercely, kissing her palm before placing it over her heart. “Yours,” she had whispered to Eve, the tears spilling then. Eve had cupped Villanelle’s face with her free hand, her own tears streaming down her cheeks, before pulling Villanelle into an embrace.</p>
<p>“We’ll get you therapy. Hell, we’ll both get therapy. We’ll be ok, love,” Eve assured her, rubbing her back in gentle circles.</p>
<p>In a choked voice Villanelle had replied, “Thank you for seeing me, Eve. I love you so much.”</p>
<p>That had become a night full of revelations, with Villanelle confessing to Eve the murder of her mother and her step family, and acknowledging her guilt and pain. She had told of the existence of her younger brother and their little half-brother, now alone in the world by her hand, and Eve immediately spoke of locating them and bringing them into the fold. Tears fell freely. Eve had spoken of her ex-husband, conceding her part in the destruction of their marriage and her own guilt and sadness for a man she once loved. More tears. Villanelle had wisely kept quiet on her opinion of the man she cuckolded, but comforted Eve in turn. They spoke of the wounds they had inflicted on each other, emotional and physical scars torn into their minds and bodies. Forgiveness and letting go of pain, shared and individual, were spoken lovingly by hands and lips, and in the morning the gift of renewal and healing felt like a blessing.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Eve finally hauled herself up out of bed and leapt into the shower, knowing it would possibly be a couple of days before they next had the opportunity for a decent wash. She waved off Villanelle’s offer to “help”, determined to actually get clean for once. Villanelle came and sat on the toilet to chat to Eve and hand her toothpaste and toothbrush so she could brush her teeth under the warm water. They swapped positions when Eve was finished, and Eve used the time to pack the toiletries as they were finished with. Finally, clean, dried and dressed, they lugged their bags to their hire car and locked them in the boot, then wandered through the clearing rain to a café for a decent breakfast. </p>
<p>As they ate, Eve reflected on the normality of their existence the last couple of days. They had taken time to visit many of the beautiful historical landmarks and sights the country had to offer, and while they always paid attention to their safety, it felt like a proper holiday. She and Villanelle had tried to outdo each other with romantic gestures, leaving each other love notes, little gifts and sending sweet texts. Eve was happier than she had ever imagined possible, and she could see Villanelle slowly dropping the façade of ruthless assassin and settling into what Eve suspected was her real personality – a thoughtful, dreamy and delightful young woman with a passion for the finer things in life. Apparently, this included Eve, much to her continued amazement. </p>
<p>For Villanelle, it was simply a joy to see Eve’s usual careworn expression and frantic energy melt away under the lessening of tension and acceptance of Villanelle’s loving devotion, and to see pleasure and relaxation take their place. She loved nothing better than seeing Eve happy, making her laugh and hearing her sigh with desire. She was slowly letting the burden of the pain she had inflicted on others, including her beloved Eve, dissolve under the gentle care and attention the older woman visited on her daily. Forgiving herself, accepting her past and building a new future for herself and the love of her life were a journey she had never considered with any seriousness before, but now she had Eve by her side to balance out her sometimes extreme bursts of emotion. It was a true partnership in every sense, and both women were thriving with the adoration they had for each other.</p>
<p>Once they were satisfied with their meal, which included no less than 3 servings of Full English for Villanelle (“We’re in Ireland love, really?” snorted Eve), they collected their car and drove off to Dublin Airport to begin the arduous journey to what they hoped would be their new home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No doubt I will have to write the tedious plane trip next. Le sigh.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>New chapters will appear when I'm bored at work.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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